So I was writing a different blog post. One that features whipped cream, sexy boys and whips (and you thought this was a childfriendly blog!)….and I hadn’t finished it yet when I came across this on a random internet surf on the Guardian photograph pages. Its from the cover of a NOVA magazine circa sometime in the 1960s but I just thought…whoops…sounds like my life!
(By the way for those of you who have NO CLUE what NOVA magazine is/was – like me – it was apparently considered Britain’s style-bible in the 1960s!)
I have taken the pill
I have hoisted
my skirt to my thighs
to my ankles
rebelled at university
abused the American Embassy
lived with two men
earned my keep
kept my identity
I am lost!
We’re going to have to move…there is no way around it. I just know it my bones, we’re going back to Gurgaon. Damn, I thought I had been able to delay the inevitable, but I don’t think so. This is going to be a tough one. I love my little city flat, right in the heart of South Delhi, even though I am on the outer ring road, I can hear the birds in the park that buffers my little home from the madness that is the Delhi traffic…I never expected that I would have any reason to wax eloquent about Delhi, I usually hate this city, but suddenly when the prospect of moving to Gurgaon seems to real, its hard to remember the things I don’t like about Delhi, only the things that I love.
Yesterday we went to see “THE FLAT” and I went with the full understanding that this was where we were going to be living soon, but as we drove out of Delhi, onto the highway it started to sink in just how much of a change this was going to be. But with a recession knocking on my doorstep and a landlord who thinks that he can RAISE the rent this year I think I have to go back. Go back to the little flat in the middle of suburban HELL, but its a flat thats owned by us. Where NO-ONE can raise the rent, where I can paint everything in mad colours, and my daughter will have her own room and I will have my OWN study and maybe we can get a puppy and we won’t have to pay rent (did I mention that before)…
Reasons to Move:
- Save money
- Three bedrooms instead of two
- Its our place so we can do what we want to it – including paint the walls pink if I want
- Good for Vaava
- Bigger kitchen
- Save money
- We can get a puppy
- Save money so I can go shopping
- Close to the farm
- Close to my parents
- Far from “she who shall not be named”
- We will have a bigger bedroom and so I can finally get my dream bed
- Save money so will be able to afford dream bed and macbook! And hubby can buy his fancy shmancy plasma-TV
- Hubby can take me to Sunday brunches at the Trident
- More time together
The Reasons I am Resisting the Move
- Far from Delhi and my friends and our social life
- We might have a bigger place with a guest room but maybe no guests will want to stay so far
- Will cost money to do it up
- Far from my office
- Smaller living and dining rooms
- Will Phool and Thomas shift?
- Vaava will have to change playschools
- Nowhere to buy decent vegetables, fish, meat in Gurgaon
I think I am moving….
So its March already….I’m already wearing cotton salwar kurta’s to work and thinking about when to put my cooler in. Where did winter go?
It seems like it disappeared in a fluff of trips to Jaipur, weddings, polo and trying to figure out what exactly I was going to be doing this year.
And what am I doing? What’s the story for this year?
Its not quite clear yet….
- Figure out my space professionally
- Definitely write more….
- Have another child (this is the one that’s MOST fun to work on)
- Move house (the damn landlord keeps raising the rent and we’re bursting out of the seams – I NEED MORE SPACE FOR MY SHOES!)
- Try and get Vaava to sleep through the night (easier said than done)
- Be better at love
So where are we at now?
- Well the professional thing is happening but all I seem to be doing is adding responsibilities rather than sorting out the one’s I already have…perhaps not quite the solution I was hoping for…but we’re getting their slowly.
- Well I’m definitely writing more…but combined with #1 it just means that I have no time for anything else!
- Going to practice this one tonight!!!!!
- Does anyone have a beautiful house that they might want to rent to us? Preferably in south delhi, with a garden or terrace, and HUGE kitchen….ahhhh if wishes were horses!
- HAHAHAHA….she’s only getting worse not better…and this is having a negative impact on my efforts to achieve #3
- I am trying I am trying…to be better….to not get as frazzled as I get…to be accepting of differences…to be more patient (tolerant)….
Not too bad for 2 months down….
1. I grew up in Jamaica, I spent 17 years there and at some level it is the place that most nourishes my soul
2. I knew from the moment I met him that my husband was going to play an important part in my life…there was just something there
3. I have been in love 3 times but have had the great fortune of marrying my one great love.
4. I love to cook…absolutely love it! I harbour secret dreams of opening my own restaurant/inn some day.
5. In respect to #4 I am absolutely passionate about food and ingredients, if its organic, home grown, natural, unprocessed its for me. I firmly believe that most of life’s problems are caused by bad eating and eating habits!
6. Before my daughter was born I was absolutely terrified about being a mother. I thought I would be really crap at it. Now I love it and can’t wait to have more children.
7. Having been brought up and educated (mostly) outside of India, when I shifted back I was determined to work for INDIA…I work for Indian organisations, working with Indian NGOs and Indian communities. I know it might sound quaintly patriotic but for me it was my way of feeling useful.
8. Even though Jamaica is in many ways the place that nourishes my soul (see #1), India is the place that feeds my imagination. It is mad, chaotic, passionate, frightening, infuriating, beautiful, ugly all at once and even though moving to Delhi has been a HUGE adjustment, I don’t think I could any longer live anywhere else.
9. I believe firmly in the idea that Heaven is right here on Earth. I do not believe in religion, but rather see god everyday in my family, friends, the world around me. Similarly Hell too is right here on Earth and my work brings me closer to it than most people. I know exactly how lucky I am to have what I do!
10. I secretly covet Dior and Jimmy Choo! But the idea of spending that much on a bag or a pair of shoes scares me.
11. I think the sari is the most beautiful garment on earth. I can never have too many and am constantly fascinated with the different weaves, embroideries, colours, fabrics that exist.
12. I love that both my hubby and I follow our hearts and do what we love for a profession. I don’t think I could have it any other way. I hope I can impart the same to my daughter.
13. I hated my baby brother when we young, he drove me batty. Today I think he is one of the most grounded and amazing people I know. Plus he’s really funny to boot!
14. I once questioned my sexuality, albeit briefly. It was more about college experimentation and angst than anything else.
15. I find licorice to be one of the most revolting things in the world, followed closely by tomato ketchup!
16. My friends and family are my most treasured resource. Often they intermingle. I cannot tell the difference between the two categories – my family are my friends and my friends are my family.
17. I love to travel, I was born to travel. Settling down to living in one city has been a huge mental and physical adjustment. I now love travelling with hubby and daughter in tow…tho once in a while its still fun to set off on the road on my own.
18. I am VERY houseproud…I already know what my dream house will look like. I have been planning it for years. I know this sounds contradictory for someone with itchy feet (see #17). But for me part of the fun of travelling is the knowledge of a beautiful place to come back to.
19. I learnt to play the piano when I was younger. It was something I was pretty good at. I wish I could still play as well. It is something I would love to go back to as I get older. Especially to pass on the love of different kinds of music to my daughter.
20. I love with passion
21. I would like to learn to ride a horse one day (I am not too sure if its too late) just to be able to ride into the sunset with my love.
22. I worry everyday about the planet I am leaving for my daughter. I try to be ecologically friendly. I eat local, grow my own food, reuse plastic bags, aluminium foil, take out containers, bottles, try to save electricity and water. I don’t see this as a huge ecological committment but rather just the way that both my mother and grandmother’s’ ran their homes.
23. I would like to write a book, it will be called “the girl who came out of the cupboard” – there is a special reason for the title that would take too long to explain here.
24. I love books, of all kinds. I can read anything. I collect old books and erotic literature. I love the feel of a leather bound book. My favourite passage from any book is from “The Tale of Two Cities”.
25. I know its probably not fashionable to say it, but I actually really liked writing down these 25 things. It was sort of self-reflexive therapy!